-
PolicyWala Fan
Just for Laugh
A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, 'Did God make me?'
'Yes,' the grandpa replied.
'Did God make you too?'
'Yes,' the grandpa said.
'Well,' the little girl said, while running her fingers down his wrinkles and looking at his thinning hair, 'He sure is doing a better job nowadays!'
Two small boys met during their first day at school.
'My name is Billy. What's yours?' asked the first boy.
'Tommy,' replied the second.
'My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?' asked Billy.
Tommy replied, 'My Daddy's a lawyer.'
'Honest?' asked Billy.
'No, just the regular kind,' replied Tommy.
Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby-sitter when 6 year old Kyle said, 'You can't sit in Daddy's seat!'
'Daddy's not home,' the babysitter replied. 'Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss.'
Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, 'If you're the boss, you sit over there -- in Mommy's chair!'
-
Super Moderator
चुटकुले :-)
नाम पर मत जाइए, सर
ग्राहक चिल्लाया :' वेटर , मैंने आलू का परांठा ऑर्डर किया था , लेकिन इस परांठे में तो आलू का एक भी टुकड़ा नज़र नहीं आ रहा। '
वेटर बोला : ' नाम पर मत जाइए , सर। अगर आप कश्मीरी पुलाव मांगते, तो फिर आप कहते कि उसमें कश्मीर नज़र नहीं आता !'
_____________________________________________
भिखारी
भिखारी : साहब 12 रुपये दे दो, कॉफी पीनी है।
आदमी : लेकिन कॉफी तो 6 रुपये की है?
भिखारी : साहब गर्लफ्रेंड भी तो है।
आदमी : भिखारी होकर भी गर्लफ्रेंड बना ली।
भिखारी : नहीं साहब, गर्लफ्रेंड ने भिखारी बना दिया!
_____________________________________________
डॉक्टर-नर्स
हूं मैं डॉक्टर जहां,
मेरी वाइफ है नर्स वहां,
ये कैसा जुल्म सहना पड़ा,
अपनी वाइफ को भी मुझे सिस्टर कहना पड़ा.
_____________________________________________
50 पैसे में खाना!
भिखारी (कंजूस से)- 50 पैसे दे दो भैया, मैंने तीन दिन से खाना नहीं खाया है।
कंजूस (भिखारी से)- 10 रुपये दूंगा, पहले ये तो बता 50 पैसे में खाना कहां मिलता है।
_____________________________________________
माचिस की तीली
एक आदमी तीली जला रहा होता है, पहली जलाता है नहीं जलती। दूसरी जलाता है नहीं जलती। तीसरी जलाता है जल जाती है वह उसे बुझा कर कहता है कि ये काम की है रख लेता हूं।
_____________________________________________
झूठ...
घर में प्रवेश करते ही संता ने देखा, उसके दोनों बेटे आपस में बहस कर रहे थे...
संता ने पूछा, किस बात पर बहस कर रहे हो...?
एक बेटा बोला, पापा, हमें सौ रुपये का नोट पड़ा मिला... हमने तय किया है कि जो सबसे बड़ा झूठ बोलेगा, सौ रुपये उसी के...
संता ने अफ़सोस जताते हुए कहा, तुम लोगों को शर्म आनी चाहिए... जब मैं तुम्हारी उम्र का था, तो जानता भी नहीं था कि झूठ क्या होता है...?
बेटों ने बिना कुछ बोले सौ रुपये का नोट संता को दे दिया...
_____________________________________________
आंख शराबी की...
एक शराबी नेत्रदान करने गया...
काउन्टर पर बैठे क्लर्क ने पूछा, क्या तुम कुछ कहना चाहते हो...?
शराबी ने कहा, ये आंखें जिसे भी लगाओ, उसे बता देना, दो पैग लगाने के बाद ही खुलती हैं...
_____________________________________________
सिर्फ एक बीड़ी!
डॉक्टर (मरीज से)- तुम कितनी बीड़ी पीते हो?
मरीज (डॉक्टर से)- जी, एक दिन में करीब 20 बीड़ी।
डॉक्टर- यदि मुझसे इलाज कराना है, तो इतनी सारी बीड़ी पीने से परहेज रखना होगा। आज से ही एक नियम बना लो कि सिर्फ भोजन के पश्चात ही एक बीड़ी पियोगे।
मरीज ने डॉक्टर की बात सुनकर इलाज कराना शुरू कर दिया। कुछ महीने के बाद मरीज का स्वास्थ्य एकदम सुधर गया।
डॉक्टर- देखा, मेरे बताए परहेज से तुम्हें कितना स्वास्थ्य लाभ हुआ।
मरीज- लेकिन डॉक्टर साहब, एक दिन में 20 बार भोजन भी कोई सरल कार्य नहीं है।
-
PolicyWala Newbie
Nurse : congrats sir, you are a father.
Sir : don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!
_________________________________
Shortest love story
He : Will you marry me?
She : No
And he LIVED happily ever after.
____________________________________
Film Director: U have to jump into a swimming pool from 100ft
Debut hero: But i dont know swimming sir?
Film Director: dont worry there is no water...!
Debut Hero: Then ok i am ready
_________________________________
Customer : Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
_________________________________
1st person : Hey do u know that girl who is going there is deaf ....
2nd person : Oh is it ???? how do u know ????
1st person : Yesterday i went and told her : I luv u and she replied by shoe size is 7
2nd person : How sad...she looks so beautiful but she is deaf....: o: cool:
-
PolicyWala Fan
Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.”
Student - He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.
-
PolicyWala Newbie
Sardarji Awesome Joke. YOU WILL SURELY LAUGH A LOT..
A Sardarji, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which
is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are
all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today,and she has asked me to allow
each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: *"Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to
be carried away bleeding and crying with *pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also
led away whimpering *loudly.
The Sardar ji was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is
one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardarji replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not *20, *but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then *so be it.
"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar ji smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
-
PolicyWala Newbie
-
PolicyWala Fan
Good One To Laugh
1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
-
-
PolicyWala Fan
-
PolicyWala Newbie
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules