Jokes

[Anurag_Bist]

Beti: Dad, muje jaldi badha hona hai
Dad: Beti, badhe hoke kya karogi...
Beti: Dad mein maa banungi, padhai kaungi, job karungi, shaadi karungi

Dad: Beti, sab kar, par inka sequence sahi rakhna

[Lethal]

Class picture
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Emily; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's David, he's a doctor.'"

Little Johnny, at the back of the room, rang out, "And there's the teacher... she's dead."

[PolicyWala]

Santa joins army, given AK 47. He has puzzld.
Asks Major, Sir, yeh bandook ki nalli samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

[mintz]

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, But nothing happened.
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, India they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes..."

[Naresh]

This is a conversation that took place between a person (Y) in the public and a marketing guy (X).

X: Which shaving cream do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which soap do you use?
Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, What is this Baba? Is it an international company???
Y: No, He is my roommate.

[Gold]

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was angry, but she continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and again, the parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" Furious, the lady stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store.
The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said.
"Yes?"
"You know....it"

[CONFUSED]

Jim´s barn burned down. Julie, his wife, called the insurance company and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."
"Whoa there, just a minute, Julie, it doesn´t work like that. We will assess the value of the building and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." the agent replied.
Julie, after a pause, said, "Well, in that case, I´d like to cancel the policy on my husband."